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I was planning to take the kids to the beach this morning for a fun photo shoot for iheartfaces beach theme, but this pregnancy is taking too big of a toll on my body and emotions today.   

Yesterday was a good day, full of energy and excitement to see what God will do…

but today everything feels Fragile -the aftershocks of hope – when I allow myself to dream of sweet baby smells and tiny toes, there inevitably comes the fear of feeling the pain again.

So instead of crazy beach fun, I post a photo of quiet joy and peace that I took of my mom two years ago – before I had even imagined Joshua, before I missed him… before I held Jeremiah inside of me

I see in her eyes all the love, pain and wisdom looking back on her life as she rests her gaze on the water…

and when I look out over the ocean I see everything behind me, I see the resting place of my baby's body, I feel him in the grains of sand, and I long to turn, to look further, to see the future…

but I will rest and be grateful today – grateful for my mom who is recovering from a serious illness, grateful for my two smiling boys here with me, for my third boy who is in the arms of Jesus, for my fourth boy who I hope to hold here on earth very soon, and for a God who loves us more than all the grains of sand, more than every drop of water

check out other sandy end of summer photos over at iheartfaces

  • Crystal Zull - Sharon… this brought tears to my eyes. The photo of your mom is amazing, it truly speaks a thousand words. I am in prayer for you. We love you all!
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  • Clammy - I am sorry to hear about your lose and pray that all will go well with this pregnancy. The beautiful picture of your mother is beautiful and the wording of your journaling…perfect.
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  • Anna R. Erickson - God be with you and your family Sharon love!
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  • Rachel - Sharon, thank you for sharing your heart. I have tears in my eyes.
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  • nikki - touching. the photo is full of emotion. blessings.
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  • Candy - Oh my. So powerful. Thank you for sharing, the image and the story.
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  • cate - Beautiful image and writing.
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  • Tracey - Beautiful picture of your mom. So sorry for your loss. Your words really touched me.
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  • Tara - Amazing photo. You can see the emotion and depth in it. Great job. And best wishes to you in this pregnancy!
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  • Susie - Touching…thanks for sharing. I lost a long awaited pregnancy in Jan., immediately got pregnant after…it’s been hard to be optimistic…and my Mom is going through Chemo. right now for colon cancer. (My stepdad was diagnosed with colon cancer within a month of my mom- thankfully, his was very early and just needed surgery).
    Your words and photo hit close to home for me…grateful for every jab, kick in the bladder and every day my little girl stays in my womb.
    Your Mom is beatiful, by the way!
    -Susie
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  • MIchelle - Beautiful. Thank you for sharing so openly.
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  • Danielle - What a beautiful touching picture and post. Thanks for sharing.
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  • Sue Casson Beatty - I am praying for a safe pregnancy, delivery and long life for your baby. Nothing can take your pain away but letting yourself rest in His arms – He knows how you feel.
    God Bless you today, tomorrow and always.
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  • krista - i love this photo. and your post is so moving.
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  • Shannon - Wow…..that was so moving. I’m so sorry for your loss & for the struggles your family is going through. Hugs to you today. You are in my thoughts for a safe pregnancy. Thank you so much for sharing.
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  • MichelleLKent - I’m sorry for your loss.What a story.
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  • Desirae Todd Photography - This post literally brought tears to my eyes! I can’t imagine losing a child! I pray that the Lord provides peace and comfort to you! I really enjoyed your photo! Full of emotion! Thanks for sharing! = )
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  • Leah - wow, this is beautiful! i’m so sorry for your loss! your post brought tears to my eyes. God bless!
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  • Deborah - So sorry for your loss. I lost my third child too. I also lost my fourth. God blessed me with two more children after that, but I still long for the two who are not here but are waiting for me in Heaven.
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  • adrienne - This is a beautiful photograph. I do not know the pain of miscarriage, but I am very sorry for your loss. I imagine the reunion time in Heaven–what a day that will be!
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  • erica - so beautiful, brought tears to my eyes. your writing and photo is inspiring. praying over your family!
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  • Tsuki Fox - touching and beautfiul. I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope your baby fills you with enough love to make the pain hurt a little less. beautiful photo as well
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  • amy - I don’t even know you and this brought tears to my eyes. God is awesome and sovereign and promises to bless us infinitely beyond what we can hope for or imagine. I pray that your baby boy will be happy and healthy!
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  • Shannon Gray - Touching and beautiful post…hoping for health and happiness for your family! Sometimes things like this make you think about all the stress in life and how short life is to waste it on that stress. Thanks for the post!
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  • Lori - beautiful
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  • Kayla - just beautiful…
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  • Bethany - Love this picture and your post….I’m praying for you daily. I can’t imagine the emotions you must be feeling at this time. So excited for baby Jeremiah!
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  • Veens - What a beautiful thought and an equally timeless photo! I hope your mom feels better soon!
    Great shot!
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  • vic - sweet kisses xoxox that’s a beautiful picture of your mama:)
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Pillow (1 of 1)-2
I won this lovely custom pillow over at the talented Jessica's blog Give it a Go! I got to give her input on the colors and style I like and she could not have made a more perfect pillow for our master bedroom! It was a fun finishing touch, arriving shortly after we moved in and unpacked.

I also really like how the back looks so I flip it around sometimes:) It really ties in with the Indonesian sarong that I hung for a curtain (I love how it flows with the ocean breeze) Bed (1 of 1)
Jessica also sent some fun goodies as a complete surprise with the pillow! Her gift was so thoughtful and generous! She included some lovely cards she sewed embellishments on, some cute magnets and a bunch of adorable fabric scraps that I can't wait to find a use for!
Goodies
Magnets (1 of 1)-2
Thank you so much Jessica! I hope everyone enjoyed this little peak – you can read about her process making the pillow over at Give it a Go

  

Here are a few pics of the room I put together for my boys in our new home. I was really not feeling painting so I tried to brighten it in other ways. My favorite part is the bunting banner I screen printed for them… 

Kids room1 copy 

A train table converted into a lego table, tubs full of dinosaurs, cap-guns and other boy toys fill the space.

Room2

The curtain and bedding were on clearance from Target for a total of $60 – and the best part is they match bean bag seating and storage totes I bought two years ago!

Room3
I framed an alphabet the kids stamped and some of my favorite artwork they have created, as well as photos of my little lego creators. We bought storage for their legos from Toys R Us.

Room4 

The bug collection they made has a prime spot on their wall – Yes, they caught all those HUGE bugs themselves!

 Room5 

I sewed bunting from more clearance sheets and curtains from Target. Then I screen-printed helicopters on it.
 Room6 

Dad used fishing wire to hang die cast airplane models from the ceiling.

 Room7 copy 

Their dresser is a landing spot for special toys and seashell collections.

Room8
Aaronlegoflat
What could be better than two busy little men happily building in a room designed just for them? ๐Ÿ™‚     

  • The Nifty Nest - WOW! That is an adorable room! I love the banners most I think…or the train table…or the hanging airplane…or…. ๐Ÿ™‚
    I hope you’ll come participate in my link party today! It runs all week so come back and add more BOY projects! All About The Boy @ The Nifty Nest!
    Liz
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  • Jennifer L. - Looks great! Hundreds of happy hours to come, I’m sure.
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  • Kori - I think it speaks volumes that your boys look totally involved in playing and hanging out in this fantastic room!
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  • Lara - I love your boys’ room! So boy-ish and still stylish… boys can be so challenging to decorate for….
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Aaronclimbing
I don't know what to do 

or say…

and so I just wait – to see what God will do

and I try to remember what He has said

I can't yet tell the story of this baby I am waiting for after loosing my precious Joshua, because I don't know how the story will end, and that makes me too afraid to speak

but I know God is good and I WILL trust Him. I know He can but I will not try to make Him

I have asked Him and I will wait…

too worn out to run and play with my boys, I will watch and wonder at the miracles they are


"And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:5


  • Sue - Tears
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  • Joy - thank you for sharing.
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  • Breeze - <3 I may have never met you but I want to hug you. THis brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for sharing something so real with us. XO
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