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Category Archives: Mourning into Joy

Eight years missing him

It has been eight years missing my son born still and all too quiet on his due date. Almost fourteen years have provedView full post »

For all the posts I never wrote about my first daughter

This is the post for all the posts I never wrote about you. My other daughter. My Blessing. You spent the majority ofView full post »

When you’ve lost too much to do the normal things…

When you have lost, and lost, and lost again – you can’t do normal things that others do without aView full post »


There are many reasons for the silence. Many reasons not to open my mouth. Noise, noise, noise all day long, but I fallView full post »

Guest Posting – When Mother’s Day Looks Like Empty Arms

For every woman with empty arms and an aching heart in this season, I pray that she will feel a weeping Jesus near andView full post »


Daughter, The moon travelled close to meet your arrival. It loomed larger in the sky than any time in the past eightyView full post »

Guest Posting – Navigating Grief as Life Moves Forward

The wound remains. Time has passed, is passing still, and I hold our long, awaited baby. The pain of the full-termView full post »

Finally Home

She feels so light in my arms. What if I cannot hold on to her? We buckle her into the carseat that is supposedView full post »

First Days

These first days after birth melt one into another, a beautiful fog. She was born at 12:38pm. Tonight I don’t haveView full post »

The Future…

The only place I marched today was to the grocery store and back home for my son’s thirteenth birthday party. But IView full post »

Worth it

For six years I have wondered if it’s cruel to put them through it all over again. When we began talkingView full post »

Joy – a birth story

This time my breath is calm and my hair brushed. I could have turned and walked back out, this is no middle ofView full post »

Seven Years Missing Him

It’s been seven years, and this time I’m not surprised, by the anniversary, by the march of time. LosingView full post »

Joy Rising

Sometimes I wake up and feel the stillness, I wonder if I’m empty again. I wait, trying just to breath whenView full post »

Silent Night

I have been quiet lately. I have still taught my children, talked to acquaintances, worked, laughed and argued with myView full post »

Artist’s Statement

We drove across the country and I shot a roll of film, and the photos were all a mess. Light leaks or maybe myView full post »

cut back to barely nothing

Before a year had passed, we moved from the house you died in . Or maybe you died while I stood in the streetView full post »

5 years missing him

It has been another year living this life where losing a child is reality. There was a time when I didn’t knowView full post »

The Conquerer

He tells me “I’m Arthur King, and you’re mine princess.” I have beenView full post »

Made of Mud

“I am a mother of three boys so I spend much time with mud. I have become convinced they knowView full post »


“How do we learn to see in the dark? It begins with a vow of watchfulness. By standing still – weView full post »

Four Years Missing Him

I need for him to still carry weight four years after he left this earth. I long to look at him, to holdView full post »

A Miracle

The words come first this time. I did not love my husband. I toyed with the wording inside my mind, trying toView full post »

when the drugs wear off

I remember easing into the car three times. My insides ripped raw, a new baby cradled next to me. I remember floatingView full post »