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Category Archives: Mourning into Joy

When you’ve lost too much to do the normal things…

When you have lost, and lost, and lost again – you can’t do normal things that others do without aView full post »

Silenced

There are many reasons for the silence. Many reasons not to open my mouth. Noise, noise, noise all day long, but I fallView full post »

Guest Posting – When Mother’s Day Looks Like Empty Arms

For every woman with empty arms and an aching heart in this season, I pray that she will feel a weeping Jesus near andView full post »

Supermoon

Daughter, The moon travelled close to meet your arrival. It loomed larger in the sky than any time in the past eightyView full post »

Guest Posting – Navigating Grief as Life Moves Forward

The wound remains. Time has passed, is passing still, and I hold our long, awaited baby. The pain of the full-termView full post »

Finally Home

She feels so light in my arms. What if I cannot hold on to her? We buckle her into the carseat that is supposedView full post »

First Days

These first days after birth melt one into another, a beautiful fog. She was born at 12:38pm. Tonight I don’t haveView full post »

The Future…

The only place I marched today was to the grocery store and back home for my son’s thirteenth birthday party. But IView full post »

Worth it

For six years I have wondered if it’s cruel to put them through it all over again. When we began talkingView full post »

Joy – a birth story

This time my breath is calm and my hair brushed. I could have turned and walked back out, this is no middle ofView full post »

Seven Years Missing Him

It’s been seven years, and this time I’m not surprised, by the anniversary, by the march of time. LosingView full post »

Joy Rising

Sometimes I wake up and feel the stillness, I wonder if I’m empty again. I wait, trying just to breath whenView full post »

Silent Night

I have been quiet lately. I have still taught my children, talked to acquaintances, worked, laughed and argued with myView full post »

Artist’s Statement

We drove across the country and I shot a roll of film, and the photos were all a mess. Light leaks or maybe myView full post »

cut back to barely nothing

Before a year had passed, we moved from the house you died in . Or maybe you died while I stood in the streetView full post »

5 years missing him

It has been another year living this life where losing a child is reality. There was a time when I didn’t knowView full post »

The Conquerer

He tells me “I’m Arthur King, and you’re mine princess.” I have beenView full post »

Made of Mud

“I am a mother of three boys so I spend much time with mud. I have become convinced they knowView full post »

VIGIL

“How do we learn to see in the dark? It begins with a vow of watchfulness. By standing still – weView full post »

Four Years Missing Him

I need for him to still carry weight four years after he left this earth. I long to look at him, to holdView full post »

A Miracle

The words come first this time. I did not love my husband. I toyed with the wording inside my mind, trying toView full post »

when the drugs wear off

I remember easing into the car three times. My insides ripped raw, a new baby cradled next to me. I remember floatingView full post »

the Melody in the Chaos

I had a disappointing week. After hard work and recent days filled with unexpected joys and pleasant surprises, thisView full post »

“write hard and clear about what hurts”

I am writing these words to hold onto. Crafting them like a lifeboat, to carry me Pen to paper I write them intoView full post »