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Yearly Archives: 2013

 

Each Christmas Jesse’s squadron flies Santa and a few of his elves in on a helicopter. The kids get to say hi and he gives them some toys, then there is a lot of bounce house jumping and some touring of the squadron. We figure that is a pretty good way to take part in the whole Santa thing.

12-2013 . Canon AE1, Nikon 1Touch . expired Kodak Gold and  expired Fuji Pro

 

 

“Would you go to heaven? There is a sign you must stand beside where the man with the cigarette takes the tickets. There is a height you must achieve.

You must be wretched. That is your ticket and your only qualification. It is an exclusive ride, but wild, with weather you’ve never seen, and deafening light. Perhaps unsafe.

…The Lord came to clean the unclean. He brought the taint of Holiness, and it has been growing ever since. He was born in a barn and slept in a food trough.

…He came to be humbled. He came to die.”

– Notes from the Tiltawhirl by N.D. Wilson

My husband says I lack self confidence. I’m sure I do, ridiculously awkward as I am. But it goes much deeper than that, to a longing for betterness. A nagging sense, an overwhelming knowledge that I am not enough. I can not be a good enough mother, wife, daughter, friend or artist. I wish I could be more, do more. Do the best things, be the cool person, make more money, stop stumbling, keep far from failure. Make just one sentence, one image, one day, even a few hours turn out as they should. From time to time I taste the magic and think I have turned a corner. It is in those moments I am farthest from the truth. The first Christmas was not born in magic, it was a wild ride of terror. After years of waiting, our only hope was smuggled into earth as no one would have expected, amongst filth and humanness, proclaimed by beings we would really rather not see. Surrounded by bloodshed, witnessed by the lowliest.

In all this the Good News came. The Word that spoke this whole careening story into being. The One who holds it all together in His very Being, careful with us, His children.

The Good News came and it is this… Blessed are the wretched, because they will see God.

I am wretched and He came for me. My children are wretched and He came for them. My husband, my family, my friends, and those I’ve never met, all are wretched and He came for each and everyone alike. We can not clean ourselves up for this birthday party.

He spilled His blood and broke His body to clean our wretchedness.

That is all the good news I need. And so I whirl and twirl and stumble through the years, my family’s hands held tight. The lights blurring the magic and the darkness together like the night we sailed unsteady around the skating rink, gazing at the lights, laughing. Light and dark at play, at war in each line of our story, until the brilliant end. Until we are home.

 

12-2013 . Canon AE1, Fuji Superia . So thankful to a friend for sharing the book quoted above with me. In my humble opinion everyone should read it

 

My love of images began with my parents’  slide projector, light streaming through grainy images, the click click as each new image came and went. I shot my first roll of chrome last Christmas, and these are the images that began a new obsession. Not because these photos are great, but because we gathered round them flickering through light onto our living room wall. Now I have a shoebox beginning to fill with the makings of many family slideshows…

12-2013 . Canon AE1 Provia .

The day they bought me a necklace for Christmas at the Pannikin with their own money, Donut shop run after Christmas where they were not enthused about getting a picture taken with me and said necklace, and our annual New Year’s morning hike

These photos turned out like real family Thanksgiving photos, grainy, out of focus, random. But that’s as it should be for friends that are family.

I can’t express how thankful I am for these families. There are no words for what they mean to us or the times we have shared. So I used a little point and shoot camera to try and do a bit of justice to the best Thanksgiving I have ever had. The BEST food, cooked by some of the most real, fun, loving women I have ever known. They make me want to be a better mother, wife, and human in every way. Kids that light my children’s imaginations up and men who adventure with my man and have inspired and taught us to capture our family tangibly on film while we live these magic years.

SO. VERY. THANKFUL.

11-28-13 . Nikon One Touch, Canon AE1 . expired Canon Gold 200, expired Fuji Pro 400 . processed at  Costco where they decided to super low low res scan some frames

 

 


Felling trees with hand painted axes. All day. Men and children.

11-1-13 . Minolta Autocord, Nikon One Touch . Portra 400, Portra 800 expired, Provia 400